It's Just a Little Crush
by jaqtkd
Summary: Mattie questions her true motivations for seeking out Leo. Based on 2x06. Book cover by Wil1969


**It's Just a Little Crush**

This was not at all how Mattie had envisaged her reunion with Leo. Although, honestly, what had she expected? She had been so single minded recently - focused on one specific goal - that she'd somehow managed to convince herself that there'd been an element of self-discovery to her search for Odi and the development of the mature code. Some higher purpose.

But she now realised she'd been deluding herself and it had all been for one reason. For one person.

All that time last year when she'd felt amused at Harun's clumsy crush on her and yet, here she was, just as bad. Perhaps even worse.

She turned to watch as the young man sat down next to Hester, talking quietly whilst checking her readings, and ground her teeth, determined not to show any emotion. Of _course_ he'd connect with a Synth. Why wouldn't he? He was half one himself, after all.

"I'm going to have to put you back on charge," she heard him say to Hester. "Your systems need time to recover.

The Synth turned a green eyed death-stare towards Mattie before complying and Leo followed her gaze, glancing between the two females and shifting nervously on his seat. Then he stood, pacing a bit, his forehead furrowed, before eventually sitting down on an old box.

Mattie watched him for a while until the awkward silence became too much to bear and she moved towards him, feeling an urgent need to comfort him. "No need to worry," she said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "She'll be fine now."

Leo's reaction to her touch was not at all what Mattie expected. He jumped off the box as if he'd been electrocuted and she jumped too, mortified.

"Sorry." They'd both said it at the same time.

"My fault," Leo said. "I ..."

"You feel more comfortable around Synths, I get that." Mattie glanced again at the silently charging Hester, fighting a surge of jealousy she was determined not to show him. Obviously he'd had no trouble with intimacy when the pair of them had ...

"That's part of it I suppose." He sat back down and she joined him, pulling a wobbly stool a little closer. "But ..."

"Yes?"

He shrugged. "I got little enough human contact as a child, it's true." He frowned again, his gaze in her direction but not at her face, before reaching forward slowly and very deliberately taking a hold of her hand.

Mattie was pleased he was looking down, because she dreaded to think what her expression was like now. She held her breath as she instinctively glanced back over to the silent, charging Hester, half expecting her to open those accusing eyes and make some sarcastic comment.

"It does feel different," Leo commented quietly, his head tipped to one side as he gently caressed her hand and apparently compared the experience of touching a human to touching a Synth.

"Oh?" It was an irrelevant question, but she needed to say something, just to distract herself from the barrage of emotions she was feeling and prove she was still capable of speech.

He frowned, still thoughtful, before shifting himself to the corner of the box and lifting her hand slowly towards his cheek. He did look at her then, but she could guess nothing of his thoughts from his expression. Despite her own emotional reaction to this situation, it appeared to be little more than an experiment to Leo. A test to see how her touch differed from a Synth's. From Hester's probably.

He paused then, her hand just inches from his cheek, another frown and tip of the head, perhaps only now curious as to Mattie's reaction to all of this, or perhaps having seen something of her discomfort as she again thought of him with Hester. She pushed her hand forwards very slightly, having no intention of discouraging him, no matter what his motivations were for this surprising intimacy.

His cheek felt warm and soft under her fingers, his light beard rough against her palm and Mattie was now desperate to move her fingers to caress his cheekbones but just didn't dare, feeling as if she were petting a wild deer that might bolt at any moment. Her lips twitched at the analogy, made all the more accurate by Leo's wide-eyed stare of shock at the contact.

"Well?" she asked, determined not to let her confusion show. "Any difference?"

"Synths aren't exactly cold, of course," he began, "but this does feel ..."

They hadn't moved. Mattie's hand was still on his cheek and his hand on top of hers. She looked straight at him then and, now emboldened, allowed a hint of her attraction to show. His own wide-eyed stare appeared to change subtly too. Perhaps now less fear and more …

What? What exactly was she expecting here?

Mattie forced herself to smile brightly and began to lower her hand. She was an idiot. How could she think for a moment that he would feel that way towards her?

But she could perhaps salvage the situation a little? She caught his eye, before moving her hand towards his shoulder, pausing to gage his reaction, before lowering it and gently squeezing. He smiled then, appreciating both the gesture and the humour, their recent interaction having now having apparently desensitised him to her touch. There was a long pause as the pair contemplated each other and this new understanding they'd apparently reached.

But then Hester's voice rudely interrupted the pleasant silence.

"Ninety-six beats a minute and rising."

~o~0~o~

 _It's just a little crush_ _ **  
**_ _Not like I faint every time we touch_ _ **  
**_ _It's just some little thing_ _ **  
**_ _Not like everything I do depends on you_

\- Jennifer Page

~o~0~o~


End file.
